At My Worst

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I rely on my voice a lot. Some people consider it my number one asset. I should have it insured!

It is rare for me to have sore throat, cough or any sickness that can affect my voice because I am a big advocate of vocal health care. I prioritize safe singing and speaking — no airy whispers or clearing of throats please! I encourage people to use “proper” voice and I stay away from smoky areas.

It is quite frustrating for me that for the past five days and counting, I have lost the ability to use my voice. My throat really hurts and I am constantly coughing. I have a self-imposed voice rest and it seem to be not doing any good. Drinking plenty of water, throat coat, pong da hai, pei pa koa, and now, drowsiness-inducing Bisolvon — all seem of no help.

Peaceful sleep is much desired.. However, I often wake up in the middle of the night with cough attacks.

I am a cranky patient, did you notice? Fil is also sick, but I pay no heed to his needs. I have my mom and him getting stuff for me, doing me special favors, etc. God will reward them for undergoing the “sick Shanda” trials.

I couldn’t sing. I couldn’t teach well — had to rely on sign language and written notes for my students. I could not even call my babies… Good thing they seem to understand my mouthing and hand gestures.

Oh Lord, when will I get well? Can it be now, at this minute? Please?

For those of you who are thinking that I should go see a doctor, I thought of it, but I also thought I was getting better already so I didn’t. Turns out I’m getting worse. Now I’m scared to see a doctor!

I just want to shout! Hit the highest note! When, Lord, when?

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