Earlier, as I commute to school, I kept on singing to myself a song composed by Ryan Cayabyab. I feel so helpless without Fil, as if I lost the sense of time and the appetite to do things. I have become more withdrawn, wishing to keep to myself and my babies (cats), so I need to blog as an outlet. The words of the song fits my mood, particularly the line “But then we’ve shared so much that a part of me is me, no more.” Of course, lines like “to wake me takes me countless hours” ring true, no matter what the circumstance is. 🙂
I am wallowing in my loneliness. There is a pain in my heart that won’t go away, refusing to go away. I feel so cheesy doing this. But then, this is the first time we’ve been apart this long. We were always together all the time, and never beyond 30 hours.
I imagine that there are people who can relate to the pain, particularly those with partners who left them permanently. Mine is but a few days, but for others, all that remains are “what ifs” or “if I had known….”
The lesson here, should be carpe diem– if not now, when? Take this moment to hug your spouse and apologize to them for nagging about petty things. Give them a kiss, and tell them how much they mean to you. Most importantly, pray together and thank God for allowing you to be together.
(video taken impromptu to record this moment. Pardon the wrong notes)