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Unless ministry or occasional client meeting gets in the way, Fil and I strictly maintain the sanctity of our #Thursdate. We started this tradition just three years ago, when we realized that living with relatives and the extreme lack of privacy were ruining our romance. Last night, Fil decided to bring me to Canada. He […]
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Fil and I have been celebrating Skye’s monthsary with a cake, special sticker, and a portrait at a semi-permanent space. We plan to keep this up until she reaches one year old, then start doing it once a year. I think a lot of first time parents do the same thing. We usually buy store […]
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I have been quite busy attending to several things lately. My apologies for not making enough time to write. Fil and I were quite curious about the establishment The Dimsum Place for quite some time now. Since the government declared September 12 a holiday, we had the opportunity to try this place out. At first […]
“He’s not my type… I need someone stronger than me, someone who will lead me….” Is this a line you often hear or use when trying to consider a potential partner?
When I was single, I used to be pretty strong and independent. I went anywhere and everywhere by myself, commuting left and right. I would go to work in the morning, then take public transportation in the afternoon to Tondo (somewhat slum-like yet rich area) to disciple someone. Evening, I would take a jeep to Jubilee to attend bible study or rehearsal. Then I would hitch a ride with a friend who lives close to my area and get off to take the most convenient transportation home, be it bus, jeep, tricycle, or cab, depending on the time and my current budget. Oftentimes, well-meaning friends would be kind enough to bring me home.
With my personality, I found it hard to interact with people in a social level. I was usually work, work, work, aiming to be best in everything I do. I was very decisive and most of the time, I knew what I wanted and I never hesitated to express it. Small talk was a complete waste of time, in my opinion. It was so hard for me to “fit in” and make friends. Stuck up and aloof? That was me (twenty times more than today, haha).
I could even recall one incident when I stole another person’s thunder because I deemed his work to be subpar. This guy was teaching choreography for a song in his HOME CHURCH, where I was just a GUEST TEACHER for Daily Vacation Bible School. I found it ugly, and concluded that the choreography I knew (which was something I learned from my home church), was waaaay better. Guess what I did. I raised my hand in the middle of the teacher’s orientation, shared my opinion to everyone, proceeded to show my version of choreography, and forced everyone to learn mine instead! I cringe now, every time I remember that incident. And I’m sharing this cringe-worthy story with you as a way to publicly apologize to the people I offended that time.
Why am I talking about this? Well, like many single female friends I know, I also thought finding a man who is stronger than me would be hard, that it would be so easy to dominate any man I end up being with.
What makes a strong man strong?
Compare a talkative, opinionated man with a quiet listener. Outwardly, the man who is speaking up forcefully seemed to be showing a more leader-like quality, someone a girl would find easier to submit to. The quiet man would just listen and only speak out when it matters. The quiet man would even appear wimpy and could easily be overlooked, dismissed, and taken for granted.
I believe that character and conviction determines whether a person is strong or not. Take Fil for example. He is a very indulgent and accommodating person. He is kind and loving. He is friendly and entertaining. Usually, he gives in to my requests because he wants to make me happy. Does this make him weak?
Conviction is another thing. He is the type who is wise enough to only fight for things that matter. His faith and his sense of right and wrong are some of the things he stands up for. He is often indecisive about many things but never about these two.
Many people assumed that Fil was weaker than me. True, he is a bit disorganized, and a lot funny. You can always count on him to light up the room with his infectious laugh. A lot of people underestimate him because of this. People think that I boss him around, and that I tell him what to do all the time.
It may not show, but he is my boss at work. He singlehandedly manages the business, staff, and even runs all the errands. To top it off, he is active in various church ministries and is a very hands-on father to our only daughter.
With the grace of God, Fil continuously changes me. I am more social now than before, and I listen more. I now know that having a kind and gentle personality is not weaker than a loud and forceful voice. We have been together for almost nine years, and I am still very much in love with my strong man.
My unsolicited advice for all the single women out there: do not discount a man because he seems weaker than you. Rather, empower him and be an encourager. If your attitude was similar to mine, pray that God will change you too. Remember, it takes a noble woman to submit to a kind and unassuming man.
Suggested reading: Proverbs 31 “a wife of noble character”
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I am not a fan of pre-packed cheap instant noodles. However, necessity forces me to consume them: it is cheap, easy to prepare, and readily available. Fil and I usually have a stash in hand, ready to be consumed when post-midnight cravings and hunger pangs arise. My mother-in-law abhors instant noodles. Like any sane person, […]
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Ever since Skye was born, I have been quite distracted with her during worship time in church. Sometimes, I would nurse her, rock her, and try to put her to sleep. More often than not, I would be distracted with her for no reason at all. She is just an excuse I guess. Even when […]
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Weekend is not for writing but for experiencing life. However, something greater than life was launched in my country this weekend: Pokemon Go. I know a lot of my readers will be disappointed in me. I am temporarily giving up writing time and generally, life, to get into the Pokemon craze. I think this craziness […]
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Chinese tradition dictates that new mothers eat “rich” types of food after giving birth. As part of zuò yuè zi (坐月子), not only was I not allowed to take showers, I was also encouraged not to drink plain water. I had to endure daily liters of plum tea and hot chocolate, as well as hefty servings […]
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Months before giving birth, I was already planning for something to give away to friends and loved ones who will visit us in the hospital when the big event occurs. After nagging Fil to find me an easy to do recipe, he came up with the idea of making gingerbread babies. Upon research, he found […]
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I have nothing to write today, so I’m sharing a picture of the placenta that came out of my body after giving birth. One word: YUCK!🙂
